Why You're Always Tired: 3 Surprising Hidden Causes
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We’ve all been there—dragging ourselves through the day, stifling yawns, and wondering why, despite a solid eight hours of sleep (well, most nights), we still feel utterly exhausted. If you’ve been chalking it up to sleep deprivation or work-related stress, but can’t quite shake the constant fatigue, there may be deeper, lesser-known culprits at play.
Yes, sleep and stress are important factors in energy levels, but what if your tiredness is rooted in something else entirely? In this post, we’re going to dive into some uncommon reasons you might always feel tired—things that go beyond the usual advice to get more rest and manage your stress. We'll explore how unresolved emotional trauma, living out of alignment with your values, and carrying unhealed relationship wounds can zap your energy just as much as (if not more than!) lack of sleep. Plus, I'll give you practical tips to address these sneaky causes of exhaustion and reclaim your energy.
Ready to uncover why you’re really feeling so drained? Let’s dive in!
1. Unresolved Emotional Trauma
We all carry emotional baggage, whether we like to admit it or not. Unresolved emotional trauma—whether from childhood, past relationships, or other difficult life events—can be a major drain on your energy. Trauma doesn’t just affect your mental health; it seeps into your body, manifesting in physical symptoms like fatigue, muscle tension, and a general feeling of being weighed down.
"Emotional exhaustion isn't just feeling tired—it's your body and soul asking for more space to breathe and heal."
— Unknown
How Trauma Steals Your Energy
When you carry unresolved trauma, your nervous system stays on high alert. Even if you’re not actively thinking about the event, your body remains in a state of low-level fight-or-flight, constantly prepared to defend against threats that may no longer exist. This state of hypervigilance is incredibly draining, leaving you feeling perpetually tired—even when you’ve technically had enough rest.
How to Address It
The good news is, you don’t have to stay stuck in this state of exhaustion. Healing emotional trauma is a process, and while it’s not a quick fix, there are steps you can take to begin the journey:
Seek Therapy: A therapist trained in trauma work (such as EMDR or somatic experiencing) can help you process and release stored emotions. Therapy offers a safe space to explore your trauma and understand how it’s impacting your energy levels.
Practice Grounding Techniques: Grounding exercises, such as deep breathing, meditation, or even walking barefoot outside, can help calm your nervous system and release the constant state of alertness. Try incorporating these practices into your daily routine to reduce the emotional drain.
Move Your Body: Physical activity, particularly exercises like yoga or tai chi, can help release trapped emotions from your body. This allows your energy to flow more freely and can leave you feeling less weighed down.
2. Living Out of Alignment with Your Values
Do you ever feel like you’re living someone else’s life? Like you’re stuck in a routine that doesn’t reflect who you truly are or what you care about? Living out of alignment with your personal values can leave you feeling drained, even if everything looks fine on the surface.
The Cost of Inauthenticity
When you’re not living in alignment with your values, you’re constantly expending energy trying to be someone you’re not. This might mean staying in a job that doesn’t fulfill you, maintaining relationships that don’t support you, or conforming to societal expectations that don’t resonate with your true self. It’s like trying to force a square peg into a round hole—it takes a lot of effort, and the longer you try, the more exhausted you become.
The disconnect between your actions and your core values can lead to what psychologists call "cognitive dissonance," which creates mental and emotional stress. Over time, this stress builds up and manifests as physical fatigue. You’re essentially using up all your energy trying to ignore the nagging voice inside that says, “This isn’t me.”
"When you live a life that doesn't reflect your values, exhaustion becomes your companion, and authenticity feels like a distant dream."
— Shannon L. Alder
How to Realign with Your Values
The first step to reclaiming your energy is to get crystal clear on your personal values. Ask yourself:
What truly matters to me?
What kind of life do I want to live?
Am I living in a way that honors my values?
Once you’ve identified your values, start making small changes that align your actions with them:
Set Boundaries: If your current relationships or commitments are draining your energy because they don’t align with your values, it’s time to set some boundaries. This might mean saying no to things that don’t serve you or stepping away from toxic dynamics.
Make Value-Based Decisions: Whenever you’re faced with a decision, big or small, ask yourself, “Does this align with my values?” Over time, making value-based decisions will help you live more authentically, which can drastically reduce feelings of fatigue.
Create a Life You Love: Sometimes, aligning with your values requires bigger changes, like switching careers, pursuing a passion, or making lifestyle adjustments. While these changes may seem daunting at first, they can lead to a deeper sense of fulfillment—and a lot more energy!
3. Carrying Unhealed Relationship Wounds
Relationships—whether romantic, familial, or platonic—have a huge impact on our energy. When we carry unhealed wounds from past relationships, it’s like walking around with a heavy backpack filled with emotional baggage. This can manifest as physical fatigue, even if you’re not actively thinking about the relationship.
The Weight of Unresolved Pain
Unhealed relationship wounds can show up in many forms. Maybe it’s the lingering hurt from a breakup, unresolved conflict with a family member, or feelings of betrayal from a friend. These emotional wounds don’t just disappear on their own; they stay with us, quietly affecting our energy and mood.
Over time, this emotional baggage can weigh you down and create a cycle of exhaustion. You may find yourself avoiding certain people or situations, replaying painful memories in your mind, or feeling emotionally “numb” to avoid dealing with the pain.
"Unhealed wounds from the past tether us to old pain, draining the energy we need to build healthier connections in the present." — Sylvester McNutt III
How to Heal and Reclaim Your Energy
Healing relationship wounds is a gradual process, but it’s essential for reclaiming your energy and emotional well-being. Here’s how to start:
Acknowledge the Pain: The first step to healing is acknowledging that the wound exists. Denying or suppressing your feelings will only prolong the healing process. Take time to reflect on what relationships have caused you pain and allow yourself to feel the emotions associated with them.
Forgive (Even If It’s Hard): Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning what happened—it’s about releasing the hold that the past has on you. By forgiving those who hurt you (and yourself if necessary), you can start to let go of the emotional baggage and free up mental and physical energy.
Seek Closure: Sometimes, closure comes from having an honest conversation with the person who hurt you. Other times, closure comes from within—through journaling, meditating, or simply deciding to let go. Finding closure, in whatever form works for you, is key to moving on and healing from past wounds.
Practical Tips for Boosting Energy and Reducing Fatigue
Now that we’ve uncovered some uncommon reasons for your constant fatigue, let’s talk about how to address them in your day-to-day life. Here are a few practical tips to help you boost your energy and feel more refreshed:
1. Start a Journaling Practice
Journaling is an excellent way to process unresolved emotions, clarify your values, and identify relationship wounds that may be draining your energy. Try journaling for 10 minutes each day, focusing on whatever comes to mind—whether it’s a past hurt, a current challenge, or simply a reflection on your values.
2. Incorporate Movement into Your Day
Physical movement helps release stuck energy and emotions. Whether it’s yoga, dancing, or going for a brisk walk, incorporating movement into your daily routine can help you feel more energized and less weighed down by emotional stress.
3. Prioritize Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself as you navigate the process of healing and realignment. It’s normal to feel tired when you’re carrying emotional baggage, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Practice self-compassion by giving yourself permission to rest and take care of your emotional needs.
4. Meditate to Calm Your Nervous System
Meditation is a powerful tool for connecting with yourself, calming the nervous system and reducing the emotional and physical fatigue caused by unresolved trauma. Start with just a few minutes a day and gradually increase the length of your sessions as you become more comfortable with the practice.
Final Thoughts: Your Fatigue is a Signal, Not a Flaw
If you’ve been feeling tired all the time, it’s important to recognize that your body and mind are sending you a signal—it’s time to address the deeper causes of your fatigue. Whether it’s unresolved emotional trauma, living out of alignment with your values, or carrying unhealed relationship wounds, the good news is that you can take steps to reclaim your energy and feel more vibrant and alive.
Remember, fatigue is not a flaw or a sign that something is wrong with you. It’s simply your body’s way of asking for attention and care. By addressing these deeper issues, you’ll not only feel more energized but also more aligned, fulfilled, and at peace in your daily life.
If you’ve been feeling constantly tired, I can help you uncover the deeper reasons for your fatigue and guide you toward healing and reclaiming your energy. Together, we’ll explore what’s really holding you back and develop personalized strategies to get you back on track. Ready to feel aligned and energized? Let’s work together. Start here.
XO,
Dara
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Dara Poznar is a writer and President of Mud Coaching, specializing in Alignment Strategy. She empowers individuals worldwide to align their lives and relationships with their authentic selves. Through her guidance, clients discover how to harmonize their actions, values, and desires to create fulfilling and authentic lives. Learn more about Dara’s personal journey here.
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